On Being A Newbie
By this age, I assumed I'd just kind of know everything or done all there was to do. Turns out I'm just getting started. That's 50% cool and 50% terrifying. Let's discuss.
It’s a third of the way through March. How did this happen? Perhaps everything is falling off the rails because we’re just going too fast? I don’t need time to stop, but if we could move at a pace somewhere between a “summer afternoon between 6th and 7th grade” and “3-5pm on a Friday at work”, that’d be swell. Anyway…
My theme for March is “green”. I purposely picked that word (and all the monthly theme words) because it could be defined a great many ways. Obviously, we’ve got the color. Then we also have the sensation of being a newbie. Finally, we come around to food. On one hand, there’s a whole healthy section of “greens” we’re supposed to choke down everyday and my new favorite brownies — mint ones with frosting so green it dyes your tongue. We’ll get to all of that this month.
First up, let’s tackle being new to something. When you were 15 didn’t you assume that by your 40s you’d be experienced in everything? I sure did. Lo and behold, there is still so much to learn! There are hard things like losing a sibling, or navigating a cancer diagnosis, or trying to parent a child who doesn’t want to be parented. There are new tax codes and TPS reports and YouTube videos on how to fix the dryer yourself. You know — the things you never wanted to have to learn.
But then there’s fun stuff, interesting stuff that only this version of you could enjoy. For me that’s meant learning Italian, reading poetry, baking bread, and joining a women’s circle.
I swear every time I learn about one new thing it leads to ten more interesting things and I’m reminded it’s a great time of life. I have the time and the freedom to be curious. What a gift!
P.S. You know a great place to be a newbie? At one of my yoga + food sessions. ;)
Let’s talk about this women’s circle for a second. I’d put it somewhere between a networking group and a bible study class, with a heavy dose of yoga and art class tendencies sprinkled throughout. In short, a perfect way to spend a couple of hours every week. I could wax poetic about it (and will when Meagan gives me the go ahead to get you to sign up), but for now let me talk about the best part — the writing.
In today’s daily dose of DUH, MAGGIE….
As part of this women’s circle, we write. Well, first we listen to a poem and then, using the poem as a prompt, we write. We share our work which is cool, but the writing, oh the writing!! As you can probably imagine if you’ve been here long, the writing style is EXACTLY what fills my cup. I think all of my writing since the CaringBridge site for my dad has been a version of this without a name or a direction. The poems (and the whole experience, if I’m being honest) are very navel-gazing which is a favorite place to gaze.
I’m talking about this so in-depth because I’d like to share pieces with you and will do so for at least the next three weeks. I’ll do it for the compliments (always), but mostly — I hope you’ll read and reflect on your own life. Write it down if you feel so moved, but mostly just take a deep breath and look inward. Find these pieces (poems? essays??) at the bottom of each newsletter for awhile.
Speaking of learning new things, I hope you’re thinking about what you’d share at my farmer’s market themed birthday party. As a reminder, this is a party where I’d love for everyone to share the thing they’ve been working on. Maybe it’s propagating plants, or learning to chip carve or intricately decorating cupcakes. Do you make your own mustard or lip gloss or wine glasses? I want to see them! The more imperfect the better!
If local, please pencil in Sunday, April 12th from 11-1 on your calendar and DM me for an official invite. If not, shoot me a DM with a pic of your project. I want to celebrate all of them!
Whether you can attend live or just want to try something new, here are six things I think would be fun to learn and share.
If you open this in the Substack app, use the audio option and listen instead of read. Or do read. Just go once through to let it wash over you. Then listen or read again to see what jumps out. Write or reflect on that part as it relates to your own life.
The color green makes me think of tea and the mushy grass of spring. The teeny tiny leaves waiting their turn on the fruit trees. The green color of olive that looks nice with my complexion but as a taste, it’s not my favorite.
I think of green when I look at my shelf of houseplants and the gnats I can’t seem to get rid of. It’s the price I pay. Willingly? That depends on the day. I think of green beans and edamame, and green grapes and Peeps. Why though? Do they even make green Peeps?
I think of the wall in our bedroom that looks so cool but is one and a half shades down the paint swatch from what we should have picked. It would be a bear to fix, so I’m learning to love it. Willingly? That depends on the day.
Green makes me think of the little ways I’m trying to do right by the planet while I watch others burn money just for kicks. I think of the rainy days where you can see the grass grow if you look long and hard enough. The blanket on the couch that is the coziest but also the one that smells most like dog. I suppose if it had a color, dog smell would also be green. Perhaps olive. As a smell, not my favorite.
I think of the walk down the hill towards the beach at Doctor’s Park where suddenly you understand the term “forest bathing” no matter how woohoo you thought of it ten steps earlier. Of the sea glass broken beer bottles down on the beach.
“Being green” makes me think equal parts queasiness and starting something new. I guess those two feelings do walk hand-in-hand often. But one is never good. The other almost always is. I think of how I’ll never get beyond newbie in golf because it’s so frustrating and so long. But I also thought I’d never figure out motherhood. That’s also frustrating and, God willing, long.
I don’t think of St. Patrick’s Day unless reminded because that’s not my favorite. Same for the Packers for the same reason. I do think of the Italian and Mexican flags, but perhaps I’m getting those mixed up.
Green makes me think of fresh air and deep breathes, two things I could really use as we wrap up the cold part of the year. I’m ready to let my shoulders fall away from my ears and breathe deep. Learn something new. Watch something grow. Make cupcakes with green sprinkles. Willingly? That depends on the day.
I sneak in spinach and other healthy greens in my morning smoothie, but what if smoothies aren’t as healthy as we think they are? (Sigh…) I’m looking at other breakfast options that give me good nutrients AND my first chocolate fix of the day.
I adore your writing on Green. Thank you for sharing.
Maggie, I agree that there is something special about trying new things at this age. I wrote a Substack draft about it a couple weeks ago, and I think you have encouraged me to publish it. :) PS I can't wait to see green this spring!